i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
