I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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