i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
