these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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