Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
