it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
