My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
