He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
