I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
