What did we do last night that was yellow?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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