do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
