I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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