this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she pinky promised me she was 18
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
