Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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