Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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