It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
