she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
