I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
