But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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