so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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