hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
