I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
