Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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