THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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