I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
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We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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