Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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