Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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