they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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