ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's blow job season.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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