All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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