youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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