im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
