We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
