peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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