I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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