I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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