flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
