He is an equal opportunity slut.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
