Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
