party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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