Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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