Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
