u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
