Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
