So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He passed out mid-signature
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
