O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
