Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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