Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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