Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm at about main and main street
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i believe in u and ur pee
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
