oh god the rape fog is back!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
