Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
