I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
