since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
