What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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