Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
