Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
