Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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